Nancy Moran

Mission Statement: To promote the well being of prisoners in Maryland and, to a limited extent, those released from prison, being mindful of the causes and prevention of crime and ultimately enabling prisoners and ex-prisoners to attain success in their lives.

Standard Disclaimer: The following newsletter may contain editorial content including but not limited to parody, satire, allegory and all out put on. Keep in mind, however, that reality is honored throughout.

Legal Notice: This newsletter does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex [gender, gender preference or level of gender-oriented activity], religion or disability. It DOES, however, discriminate on the basis of very many OTHER reasons. I'm talking about characters without content, laws without morals and work without work ethic.

Confessions: I only do these newsletters so that guys at DOC Headquarters can find themselves finding security breaches somewhere.

Why You Shouldn't Let a Jailbaby in Your House: Stanley Faison was known to me twenty years. I handled his post conviction during the 1980s. He lived with me three years rent-free. While I was in the hospital for nearly a month during September and October, he let a prostitute and heroin junkie by the name of Rose Harper aka Rose Bradley occupy space in my house. He also permitted his deranged foster brother Mike Norwood, with whom he had a homosexual relationship, use my address as his own. My library was pillaged and my safe was broken into. All my jewelry and precious mementoes such as the American School Award I received in High School were gone, a credit card was run up over $7000, an ATM card with a positive balance was run to a negative balance of $1400 and fraudulent checks over $300 total were negotiated. To add insult to injury, all my photo albums were thrown out when "Face", Rose Harper and Mike Norwood found themselves pending eviction.

State Farm Insurance Company has declined to cover anything unless I can come up with original receipts and/or precise documentation of the items which were accumulated over a lifetime. Theft insurance, by State Farm's estimation, is no insurance at all.

A warrant is now pending for "Face". Last I heard, he is working as a garbageman at Lexington Market. By serendipity, I have recovered all the possessions he has left. One of them is the photo album he had when he was at the Penitentiary. Another is the cremated remains of his biologic mother. Say hello to him next time you see him in a bullpen. Expect not to get housing if and when you get cut loose from the joints.

Correction: Missing from the acknowledgements last time (William Gaines et al.) were Isaac Asimov, Carl Sagan, Marshall McLuhan and Stiller and Meara. Missing from my library (among other things) is the book "A Time to Die" about the Attica uprising by Tom Wicker.

Zumming it up where no man has zummed before. Cincometric equations: Solving them in the absence of holographic technology.

JDPSM: (see also Footnotes 1 and 2): As you can see from the footnotes, JDPS is taking a breather from crime and criminal justice this issue. It is with this month's issue joining the ranks and occupying the same shelf space of the New England Journal of Medicine and the Journal of the American Medical Association. The exception is the fact, in the tradition of MAD Magazine, JDPSM is accepting NO advertising even from the most reputable drug companies out there. With this issue, JDPSM is inaugurating a new medico-scientific specialty: Sciento-Medical Boobology. Those accredited in the M.S.B. field are designated by the initials M.S.B. on their signature lines and are entitled to all rights and privileges of their profession. Certificates issued by the M.S.B. faculty are suitable (but optional) for framing.

Going HEAD ON !!! with the boys and girls at www.FDA.gov - sensitive about your breasts, hate tobacco, don't know anything about any other topic like drugs and pharmaceuticals, you're ready to adjudge drug policy for the nation and the world!

Brilliant Idea the FDA Missed: Color coded prescription bottles direct from the pharmacist: downers, uppers, everywheres, antibiotics, salts, and so forth and so on. Braille tops. Non-child-proof for the elderly and handicapped -- no need for bifocals required. Vitamins, OTC differentiated from Schedule II, III, IV and V. No more mixing and guessing. A service from a highly paid professional (your pharmacist) with at least one graduate degree.

Separating the men from the boys: When you think of sex, what do you think of: 1) the Hawaiian Tropic championship top ten; 2) the University of Maryland graduating nursing class; 3) the University of Baltimore Law School class; 4) the mail room at Brock Bridge Correctional Facility.

To follow is the Table of Contents for this special M.S.B. research issue: